Peak period is finally over!

The peak period is finallyyyyyyy over! Been working so hard for the past 1 month and now I just feel like going for a holiday and do nothing! In fact, I am going for a holiday in a few days time haha! Time to relax a bit :D

Now that I have more time to breathe, I really gotta start thinking what I should do to earn extra side income lol! Every month when salary comes in, within a few minutes, half of it will be gone T_T Can't even have savings...how am I supposed to save enough to bring my parents for a Europe trip larr -_- Not sustainable at all if it continues to be like this...

So, like I said before in my earlier post, my idea on online boutique is back! Imma really start doing something about that! The 2 main problems now are: (1) to find for suppliers; (2) to stand out from the massive amount of other online boutiques. How can we be different? Been having these thoughts for the longest of time and until today, still no concrete ideas sigh. Hopefully during this holiday break, I can get some inspiration and....... make it happen soon! Fingers and toes crossed!

Another to-do thing would be to tryyy to get an audit licence wuahah! Not easy and not something I like to do but then, heyyy it gives good income. Why not?

My idea of running to earn money is a bit impossible though (LOL!) because I ain't gonna be as good as those professional runners hahah! Though I must say I am still better than a lot of other people and am definitely in the slightly-above-average category...but still, not good enough to win the usual top 3 spots which actually gives out cash prizes haha! But passion is still passion, can't change it. Win anything or not, it is what I love to do and I am just thankful for those who are always there for me to support me..!

Can't remember whatelse I proposed before this (lazy to check back lol)... just remember I had the intention to be Uber driver (still do actually HAHA!) and to do part-time account work.. Well, I hope at least ONE of it will come true la hahah!

Work hard to play hard! Heeeee....

Running passion

Well hellooooooo myself! It's been a crazy ride for me for the past months... so much things have been happening and I am gonna go crazy very soon =\

But well, to keep myself alive, all I gotta do is to stay strong and stay positive! As always!

I've been registering lotsa half marathon this year huehuehuehue... One of the few things which I could do to keep my life happening and meaningful wtf. Otherwise, life is so dull. Running keeps my spirit up and that's a good thing!

So, I have a relay run coming up in June this year. This will be the 5th relay run series I joined since my running kakis (5 in a team) and I joined it back in 2013! I'm so looking forward for this run because it is about sprinting or at least run as fast as possible for about 3.25 km and that's about it! It is tiring as hell but it is fun!

Our timing and running position for the PAR relay runs from year 2013 to year 2016. Ponteng year 2014's run because everyone was busy/ lazy that time hahah...

My aim for the relay run this year will be to complete it in 17 mins for my individual timing! All I have to do now is to train my stamina for sprinting... and I have about a month time left for that :/ Wish me best of luck! 

Apart from this relay run, I have 3 upcoming half marathons in July, August and September respectively! There are 2 other HM which I have yet to register but I'll consider that when the registration is open :) 

If you ask me why I register for so many runs, here's why:

• To motivate myself to exercise. If I don't register for runs, I will never get my ass off the house to exercise. I'm lazy like that -_-
• To lose some fats... yea, my tummy and waistline are expanding @#$%^&*
• To achieve a sub 2 in a Half Marathon!! (Sub 2 means to complete a run within 2 hours time). My best record so far is 2:15 so improving that 15 mins isn't gonna be easy but I will try =D
• To aim for top 10 position in a run event! Sounds impossible but like what I told my running kakis, always be optimistic and have faith. Without those 2 things set in your head, you will never get to where you wanna be. And they told me that they like my confidence LOL!
• Hoping that I can win the prize money wuahahah! Not much also never mind, as long as can win to cover the registration fee can already LOL!
• Like I said earlier on in my post, running keeps my spirit up. And to live a life without a purpose is a sad thing. So this is my purpose. Well, one of them.

Sooooo, that's all I guess! Please pray hard that I don't turn lazy for the coming months! Heeeee!

Time bomb

It's just a matter of time if things don't change... trust me. It's just gonna get worse... 

Brain freeze

Actually I have so much in my mind but I just do not know how to convey it.. I've typed and re-typed facebook status and blog posts but ended up not posting any... too much is going on in my head, too much stuff to process, too much thoughts to be analysed, too many consequences to be considered,  too many decisions to be made...

Well, as usual, it always boils down to yourself to make the decisions. Hell yea this is life.

Motivation 101



Poor blog, been abandoned for such a long time... :/

 

Well, it has been pretty hectic lately even though sometimes I seriously have no idea what I have been doing.. time goes by just like that.. Sighh...

 

Anyway, it is year 2017 now!!! And it is end of February already! How fast huh.. Felt like new year eve was just last night wtf!

 

Year after year, the worries I always have with me are my parents and another one better left untold. Well, my mum isn't young anymore, she's turning 68 this year! I guess I've said this many times but I will say it again... that I am really afraid of losing them T_T Feel like tearing just by typing this right now wtff...

 

What's even more sad was when this one day when I had a conversation with mum, and she said this "I never dreamt of visiting/ travelling to western countries ("European" countries as what she always refer to all western countries lol) because I know we cannot afford it". Ouch... Immediately I felt so sad... so so sad...because I put myself in their position, knowing that in the limited lifetime that you have right now, you can never travel to those places T_T Not only that, after I got back from the Europe trip, I told mum that I will bring them to Spain in year 2026 (when the Sangrada Familia would've been completed by then)... to which she jokingly replied "waa 9 more years, don't know if I can live that long or not". :'(

 

It is just depressing to know that you can never fulfill their dreams... but of course, I know very well that my parents are very simple people. They've never requested extraordinary things from me before. When I brought them to Taiwan last year, they were so satisfied and happier than I could ever imagine... to the extent that my dad loves it so much he said he wanted to migrate there lol. They are that simple and that's what make me so proud of them!

 

Nevertheless, I vow that in the near future, while they are still strong, I will do whatever possible to bring them on more trips! Be it just within Malaysia or other asian countries, I will do it... I guess this is the least I could do for them... 

 

Mum and Dad during Taiwan trip

 

On my part, since none of my siblings can help me financially, I am gonna do whatever I can think of to earn extra income... so some of the things I could think of are:

 

> Doing Uber and GrabCar. Actually I've registered to be a driver since October last year (LOL) but so far, I've not submitted the documents which they requested from me over and over again -__- Procrastination punya pasal zzz...

> I am not a skillful person so there's actually really nothing much I can do in life and that is so sad hahaha! But one thing I'm good at is that I know that I am physically strong... so yours truly will train hard and join as many runs as possible to try to achieve the top spots to win the prize money! LOL! Heyyy I was almooostt there okay! Closest I got to was achieving the 11th position!! I will try harder! Ok don't laugh.

> The next one is not on earning extra income but rather on restricting myself on spending on unnecessary things.. well this is simple right, self-control on spending = excess income = higher savings!

> Work harder at work like duhh... I'm not sure if the equation for this works or not but if it does, work hard = seem to work hard = appreciated = higher bonus!  

> Take up accounting work and do it at home to earn extra income.. so if you have friends or anyone you know looking for someone to do their accounts, please contact Ms. Trina via her email (trinataypf@gmail.com)

> Online business - been thinking about this for many years but no action has been taken before. So maybe I should really start taking this seriously!

 

Well, that's all I can think of for now. Time to be positive and work hard!

Ciao!

 





Broken. Betrayed. Confused.

It is almost 6 months now since I left my job in KL to come back to Melaka. Within this 6 months, so much has happened and so many things have changed. Within this 6 months, my life took a complete 180 degrees turn and I have to adapt to these changes which I've been living for 30 years of my life....and I was expected to change it in 6 months time!!!

When I just got back from KL, I was really depressed and stressed out most of the time to the extent of having hormonal imbalance and had to make visits to the clinic and hospital. Slowly, I managed to overcome that and treat life as if it's all back to normal. Hormone and all went back to normal.

And of course, the next phase of life kicked in on 15 October 2016. It was a fun night, everyone had fun and I am glad that everything went well.

But then, just when I was about to go back to my life as before, all these depression things start coming back. It is a fucking cycle... a deja vu! All the feeling of moody and gloomy and just wanting to be alone hit me again, just like when I just got back to Melaka. And it is made worse with all the compulsories rules and regulations, SOPs, cultures, whatever you name it which I have to follow, without giving me time to adjust. All I'm asking now is to give me some time to adjust! None of you gotta go through what I'm going now so NONE of you have the right to tell me what to do or to tell me what is right or wrong.

Adjusting my lifestyle.... that's like asking me to get a boy haircut. It sounds impossible but eventually if I have to, I will have to agree to it...but it takes time. Perhaps cut my hair bit by bit and slowly, it'll be shoulder length and then neck length and then tadaaa boy haircut! Even when I was being asked to move all my stuffs over, I can't be transferring ALL at one go.. it's definitely by stages. What more now we're talking about my heart. 95% of my heart is still at my own home (and in KL of course)... but what can you do when the people you thought you could rely on tell you the same thing as everyone else, tell you the same cinna shit - that you gotta try to adapt lar, it's like that one lar, that i will slowly get use to it lar, or shit like "cannot like thattttt you're now married, you belong to them"! Fuck nooo I am and will forever be Trina TAY, i dictate my own life and no one else should dictate my life!!!!! Marriage, to me, is to legally bind/ contract/ unite TWO person, and not everything else that comes with it. So why am I now bound to follow all these rules & regulations?

It is not enough that I was asked to leave KL  to come back to Melaka... but fine, since my parents are here, it's good that I can be by their side.
Then it is not enough that I was asked to leave the job I love to do to something I hate... but fine, I accept it because well, more flexible equals to more time for me to rest.
Then it is not enough that I have to stay at a new place now, I was expected to follow all the rules & regulations. Including going on a holiday trip during CNY eventhough I clearly said that I didn't want to! Enough is enough, give me a break!!!! This whole stupid chinese/ asian culture shit is giving me a fucking hard life. be like the western parents, they will want their kids to quickly get married and GTFO of the house.

No one has the right to judge me because you dunno shit. So I suggest all of you, everyone, to not talk logic with me now because none of your logic, to me, will be logical.

:((((

If ever i die suddenly, it'll be from stressing out over the smallest things! I'm so so so so so busy every single minute every single day that I dont even have time to sit down and drink a cup of plain water!!! Heeeellppp!!!!!!