I am not happy

Not happy!!! :'(
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Why

Suddenly I feel like I'm a criminal... Everything I do, I gotta feel scared and feel guilty about it.. I dunno why I have to go through this. Just dont get it. Are my actions really wrong in every way??

Think I have bipolar disorder attack whenever I visit my blog. For a moment I'm all so emotional and you'll read an emo post... Then the next day I'm all so happy and excited and you'll get a happy post. Then back to a depressed post. It's a freaking cycle! Goshh this is scaryyy...

Sigh.... Time to sleep. Good night.

All Souls' Day

Last weekend, I went to pray my beloved grandma... It's been like 8 years now since she's gone. How fast time flies huh. Really miss her laughter and her love :'( She is the best grandmother one could ever ask for really!! I can bet you no other grandma can be as cool as her!

Well, sadness aside, here's a cute conversation I had with a 2-year-old little girl when we were at the cemetery:
Girl: What is that? *pointing at the statue of Our Lady"
Me: That's pai pai. (trying to talk baby language)
Girl: That one is Jesus loves me. (-_- baby talk failed!)
Me: Hahah ohh that's Jesus loves me!
Girl: No... Jesus loves me!
Me: Hahah yalarr Jesus loves me.
Girl: Nooo!! Meeee!! *pointing at herself*

Hahahaha omg kids these days are so smart!! She didn't allow Jesus to love me lol but I was just repeating what she said!

Kids... which they could stay like this and never grow up hahaha!

New Balance Home Run 2015 - Stupidity to the max!

Please remind me to boycott New Balance for any future running events!

It is so unprofessional of the organiser to postpone the event 3 WEEKS BEFORE the actual day citing HAZE as the reason WTF! The sky is blue as hell since last week and the organiser is so determined that it sent out official email (which went into my junk mail) 3 days ago citing the same reason for the postponement. God knows maybe the real reason for the determination to postpone the event is due to lack of response or they have not hit their target yet, as claimed by others. So so unprofessional!!

Shit overload

Exactly how I am feeling right now.. Sucky and shitty.

Why oh why do I always need to bother so much about how others would feel and neglect about what I want myself. Is it even the right thing to do?

Been asking myself so much about what is the purpose of life? Once read Stephen Hawking's philosophy about this. Gave a 10 seconds thought about it (that short because I hate to think) and realised that there isn't any purpose actually when God created us. But you gotta create the purpose yourself. Create the excitement you want. Create the circle of friends you desire. Create the life you imagine it to be. But to create these things, of course you gotta give and take certain things in life. I've done that but at times, I screwed up because people don't understand and appreciate the things you did or ought to do. And at the end of the day, I forego certain things because I cared for how other people think.

What about myself?