Trina's birthday 2011 @ G Tower Hotel

As promised 4 months back, I said I'll blog about my birthday escape with my boy. Haha I know it's a little too long but I still wanna record everything we did! It won't be too long more before my blogposts would be all about skype or gtalk or email conversations, hence from now onwards, I'll record every details of his and my life, the time we spent and will be spending together =)

So here it is, my birthday escape to...................... KL city centre!

Sim reserved a room at G Tower Hotel yo! It's an executive hotel that converges style and function; the essentials elements of what makes a business trip successful! Hahah copied from their website, duh like it's not obvious =\ But yalar, basically it's a hotel that caters for bigass business people who can't stay at places like Tunes hotel and need to have their bigass ass served and pampered.

So before we check in the hotel, we stopped by errr was it Bangsar Mall (? -_-) for lunch. We went to Le Midi! Nah pics...!

Hmm...I remembered the food to be so so only. But maybe one of the above tasted not bad. Can't remember =_=
Lemme check with Chef Sim and update this =S
Tuular, 4 months!! =\

After lunch, we headed to G Tower Hotel (yo!) to check in! Weee...! Picss....!

Beauuutiful......door! :P

Spacious and beautiful room!

Oh my love for walk-in closets!

Toilet with LCD tv for you to enjoy while shitting

Long story short, the place is great, the room is comfortable and i love it! Only cacat thing was when we opened up our room's curtain, we were staring at the hugeass tabung haji building...blehhh! Potong stim.

Yeah so then, we headed to their tea room or sumthing I dunno my memory sucks to get our free complimentary drinks!

The sky bridge bar! We'll be going there tonight ;P

These come free as well... and they tasted really good!

Ha Ha Ha!!
Whatt?!

The hotel's infinity pool overlooking the high rise buildings of KL. Oh so spectacular!

Lotsa angmohs!
See the Twin Tower is just there!

We went for a swim, chilled in our room until dinner time and dressed up for my birthday dinner at Tanzini, riggght in G Tower itself! Again, let the pics tell you the story =_=

My awesome barney and me

Tanzini...duh -_- Forgive me okay, I suck at captioning pics!

We were quite disappointed with the meal actually. Probably we expected too much as Sim had wanted to come this place long ago and reviews said they serve good food and blah... It was alrightlar just not great. And bloody hell there was this aircond leak at our place -.-t Even leaked into Sim's glass of wine zzz..

My birthday cake. It came free, specially for the birthday girl =D
Told Sim NOT to sing a birthday song for me coz I don't like it, but ended up the restaurant staff singing the bday song bringing in the cake =___= Sim didn't know too actually, he just told them it''ll be a bday dinner when he did the reservation, according to himlar =_=

Couple pic!
Window seat ehh...just look outside the window and you can see.......your own reflection on the glass -_-

After dinner, we went to the sky bridge bar! Free entrance for hotel guests, but outsiders will be charged.

Amazing right? =)

We had 3 Flaming Lamborghini! Crazy.
Hey it was my first time...and it was crazily awesome!

Not for the faint-hearted
Haha I was a bit scared too, just by looking at our feets, you can tell who's the dare devil and who's the pussy -_-

Not for the faint-hearted #2

Pic of myself - so that I know I used to be sexy =\

Annnndddd that's basically the story of my 2011 birthday with Sim. We enjoyed ourselves and I had lotsa first times that day - first time trying Flaming Lamborghini, first time dining at such a luxurious place high up there, first time people unknown to me brought in the cake and sang the bday song and embarrassed me, first time experiencing that kinda infinity pool... Most importantly, all these first-times were spent with the person I cherish and love the most =) Thank you dear for the wonderful birthday gifts and surprises :)

2012

I think I might have a depression. No, I'm serious. Or maybe just my PMS. I dunno.
There are so many things running in my head and it all just came so sudden for the past few weeks. Perhaps it's because of my new job. My intention to study ACCA. Knowing the fact that July-August 2012 is so close. Financial planning. Life improvement thoughts. So many. It all just hit me one day and I'm feeling very depressed everyday.

2012 is coming in just a few more days. New goals, new career, new things to look forward to. There is somehow a bit of excitement knowing that I have a new job with a higher pay and being able to continue my studies giving me the chance to make new friends and meet people and learning new shitz, but at the same time, it is getting closer and closer each day... and I'm getting more and more depressed each day. I daren't think how I will even react and live by each day when the time comes, I just wish that I'm able to handle it, maturely. They say take it step by step, one at a time, and before you know it, it'll just come and go. Maybe I'm getting older, I just don't like those happening life anymore, nor do I like going out or hanging out chatting, etc. or maybe again, it's just me feeling depressed hence all these thoughts. I dunno. The point is, as I get older and with more responsibilities to bear, I'm feeling very scared, I'm lost and unsure, I'm having doubts, I don't trust myself, I can't think straight and I don't think I'm being.............yeah not to be revealed because that is for myself to know and for no one to figure out.

Reason why I'm posting this is to record (if I'm not that lazy to) the beginning of my new life in 2012. It'll be a tough one I'm sure, but I'm sure it'll just make me stronger and more independent each day... I hope :)

Happy couple, they say =)

PS: This post is not entirely about him and me but about my life in general, hoping to be better each day and in some weird way, motivating myself.

The journey

It's been such a long time since I last posted a blog post. Not that I'm busy all the time, guess I'm just lazy and procrastinating all the time. My boy is right, I'm just...a chod. All relationships have their ups and downs and fortunately for us, I think we're both happy with what we see in each other. Not all the time especially recently with so many things going on with him and his tons of work that he has to follow up, being stressful and frustrated most of the time is normal. Being a companion, one has to not endure it but to give support and encouragement so that he feels at his best even though the tons of shit is waiting for him. But me being the hopeless me, I failed miserably in everything. I'm a failure in every single way. I have NOT been helping out with his application nor did I help him with his other personal or work stuff... that is just not right. I know I should just mind my own business first before even caring for others, but again, me being me, I have the very few priorities in life and all I care about and think of each time is just that very few...sometimes ignoring myself and choices made by considering my priorities of my life first. I know it is not right all the time, but it makes me feel...great.

Guess everything will come to an end some day, but for our relationship, I wish and hope that the end will be when we decide to leave this world one day.

25

Can't wait to blog about my big day!! Ahaa not my wedding day (that u gotta wait for another 5 years =S ) but the day my mum brought me to this world and painstakingly brought me up to the gorgeous me now! Woots!

Nothing to be happy about though.. It makes me older each year and that sucks like fuck. If I manage to live up to 100 years old, I'm now at a quarter of my life wtf! Imagine a pie, 1/4 gone! Maaa haiii!

Like I said, I don't like the whole world or rather all the 600+ friends i have on FB to know when my birthday is and to wish me like they bother that much. I don't even go around telling me people when my birthday is or even if they ask, it'll be just as secretive ;P I don't like attention and all I want is just to spend the special day with people I love and people I care for...family, relatives, close friends and of course, my boyfriend. It's a birthday, and to me, that is the day I came to this world, to bring something great and contribute to the humanity chehhh... But for as long as I have not done anything great, nobody should know when my birthday is coz it's as good as nothing. So yeah!! Happy Birthday to me and thank you to myself for being someone to somebody.

Oh how I love myself sometimes lol.

1 day!!!

It's thursday today and tomorrow is Friday Friday!! 2 weeks gone just like that and on Saturday I can finally meet my love of my life again!!! Damn damn excited!!

Lack of post from me for the past few days can only prove one thing!! That I am actually capable of holding on and for the fact that I've stopped crying after a few days, I think I can actually do a LDR... though if given a choice, I will never want it =_= Still sucks though without him around. The time difference and how we can only communicate through emails and whatsapp. He's gone to UK for 2 weeks and I only called him through Viber once!! ONCE!! Can you believe it -_- I know I'm a little dependent and clingy sometimes, but hey, gimme some time to change will ya? There have always been someone there for me since long ago and for a moment like this you ask me to be all on my own, it's a lil hard sometimes... I'm learning =) And I think I did great!

Meh meh mehhh.... It's Friday tomorrow!!!


*****************************************************

Oh before I forget, I had mixed feelings of happy and sad yesterday. I had to go to client's place in Sentul and as usual, I got lost a bit and was driving around Sentul. Then, drove by a place where it looked so familiar to me... Guess where?? Oh yeahhh... the place I grew up when I was little!! It brings alot of memory to me each time I think about that place and that period of time we were there. We were so little, no worries, playing at the front yard with sis, bro, and cousinsss...yeah lots of them! Smurf paintings on the wall...oh yeahhh mum painted em!! Coz my house wall was blue colour...like dark blue (coz I lived in a freaking kampung papan house!), so mum drew smurfs on the wall and painted white for their heads hahah!! Yeah those are the good times and by thinking of those times really cheer me up and light up my day! But somehow, I'll feel sad. Those place I grew up in, are no longer there. It's a highway now.

I miss em =(

Sometimes...

Honestly speaking, if you ask me now, I really don't think I can do a LDR. I'm not sure about next time or even next year, but for now, it sucks to the max and I hate it. I really do. The first day was the worse and to think back of how I felt, I somehow know how a break up feels like..or rather, for comparison purpose in this case =\ Knowing that you can't see or even speak to the person anymore, staying in the room alone, not wanting to talk to anyone, just sitting down there thinking and feeling so lost and scared, and all you do is to just cry... and cry to sleep. It's never easy I can tell you.

That's what happen when you're deeply in love with a person. You love them so much that they're always on top of the priority. But I'm sure it's different for everyone. Some people have other kinda priorities in life.... Well, not wanting to go further on this. Lets just cut the crap and get some good sleep tonight.

I seriously think I'm having depression. I've not smiled for days. I can cry anytime of the day. I cried watching a comedy. I'm always so moody and gloomy.

Sometimes, I just hate to live the way I am now. Or frankly speaking, I hate to live.

11 days

It's the fourth day today since he left to UK. Yeah it's only 2 weeks you say, but it's a big deal for me if it's not for you. But today is a great achievement for me, I haven't cried yet and didn't really disturb him by messaging him a lot of unnecessary smses =) "Haven't cried yet" huh... Yeah, normally when it comes to sleeping time, that's when I start to ttm shit and tears come flowing down. But for the whole day, being the lousy me, staying this strong is an achievement so fuck you and live with it =) Work keeps me busy and that is a good thing. I drank a lot since he left. Just to keep me half awake and not to think a lot. I wonder how other people can maintain a LDR. I'm sure he could too... To be honest, I can't. I'm suffering. And he's going to US next year. That's why I'm giving myself a test now. Well, first few days was hell. Today is alright =) But hey, can't really use this as a guide or sumthing coz he's only going for 2 weeks this time. US will be 3 years babe.

Down

It's only 3rd of July today. 13 days more to go before I can see him again. I really thought it'd be easy because I'm so used to not seeing him... But it's really not easy. I'm feeling so depressed every minute of the day. I just don't feel like doing anything or talk to anybody. Sucks.

Attended Ping Ping's birthday yesterday. It was alright and thank God no awkward moments. Those little kids are adorable. After dinner went to Cheras to join my parents. They are down to celebrate Mun Mun's birthday. They held a party for her, which I missed it coz I attended Ping Ping's dinner. Mum should've told me earlier that they'll be celebrating a birthday party. Sigh. But meeting up with my parents is kinda awesome. I'm like a princess all over again =)

Just got back home from Cheras coz there's no internet connection there and I can't do anything!! Cried again. And again. And again. I can't hold my tears I dunno why. Hate this feeling. Tomorrow's another working day. Sigh.

14 days to go!

Uncle has just left to UK for 2 weeks. I'm feeling so so down, depressed, sad, lonely, emo.... Yeah though we don't normally meet except for weekends coz I'm working here in KL and he's in Malacca, but when it comes to things like this, saying goodbye is really really tough. I cried so much I think my eyes are gonna pop out =_= Even for normal weekends whenever he goes back to Malacca after our Sunday night dinner, I'll always feel so sad. Sigh. I can't imagine how it'll be like when he goes to US. Why oh why must things like this happen to me? Am I not unlucky enough with all the things that have been happening to me?

I love him a lot. I really do. Please let this guy love me as much as I'm in love with him =(

I'm just afraid one day, he'll come to me and say he doesn't love me anymore. Guess I'm feeling that insecure huh...

But I know one thing for sure now... He loves me a lot and he cares so much for me. And I'm ever so grateful for that =)

His and Mine

Him and Me

My boyfriend is an OCD,
I’m nowhere near not even a bit,
His OCDness would kill,
Heyy but I’m alive, still,
He’s smart but freaky,
I’m lazy and a lil crazy,
He’s great and awesome,
I’m just slow and troublesome,
His swt face I’m in love,
My gay face unlike the above,
His lameass jokes never fail to cheer me,
My shitass is just so smelly,
His ass is so sexy,
My ass is so saggy,
This poem is getting so lovely…err lively,
That’s why I’m still not asleep even when I’m sleepy,
Because thinking of him makes me happy when I’m feeling crappy,
And you know what I love most from my boyfriend simmy?
No, not because he’s hairy,
Or pretty,
Or grumpy,
Or puppy,
It’s because he’s my Barneyyy,
And it’s gonna be legenddd……..dary!

Life

There's nothing in the world that I can love more than you.... though it's so hard to have a distance between us, I trust you and myself to keep the relationship going, as strong as before. How will the next few months or next year be when you leave to the States, I dare not think. I know feeling lonely and down most of the days and especially weekends is a for-sure thing to happen...but yeah, of course I'd prefer you to be over there rather than here surrounded by chods and cinnas and how it affects you and your daily life. I do not know how to be the best girlfriend or a person who gives good advices, but please remember I'm here to be a listener to all your problems and happy things that you'd like to share with someone.

One step at a time. Eventually, I'm pretty sure you'll achieve what you've always wanted with the much effort and time you put in.

Nothing is easy.

All the best to you, my dear =)

Gimme some awww...

Awwwwsome!

Weekend thing

It's the weekend again! Finally I can get enough rest and my beauty sleep! Saturday is just so awesooome!

Oh well, weekends without having your loved ones around isn't that great tho...

I miss you dear =(

At Tony Romas on one sweet weekend

I once read about people saying how wonderful their relationship is and how great their partner is and etc. Well, lucky couple that is. But in a relationship, it's very very normal to have its ups and downs moment even for the perfect couple. Arguments, disagreements, ignorance...those I believe are very normal unless you're a weirdo with no feelings. But hey, to maintain a relationship and keep it going forever, it's not easy and I bet you know how ridiculously tired you can get sometimes from that. There must always be mutual understanding and less ego I'd say, and like they say, one must give and take. This one person I know, being a person everyone adores, is just everything I'm looking for. Each time he thinks he said something wrong or hurtful, immediately he'll apologise. Even if it wasn't his fault, he'd find reasons to make it sound like it's his fault. Making bad situations better, that's somehow his skill. And most importantly, knowing how you feel, that's his specialty.

This guy I know......

... is and will always be by my side.

Random thoughts

Dad was admitted to hospital this afternoon. He fell down into a drain or something and couldn't walk after that. I do not know to what extent the injury is, but I'm just so worried. Though so many things happened this year, especially with the maid issue and all, I still love him a lot. And I care for my parents, just sometimes, don't really know how to express it. Sigh. How come we weren't raised in an ang moh way...

Just pray hard everything will be fine and goes well. I do not want anything to happen to him. Nobody wants anything to happen.

Aside from that, I realised something today while I was all alone thinking about everything in the world. Actually I realised this quite sometime ago but only really felt it recently. From what you hear and what you see, you can really tell how different a person can be. Not gonna post about this right now, maybe some other time when I'm all emo again.

Another random topic, saw on facebook that my friend just gave birth. My batch. High school friend. My age. From back back class. Now she's in Singapore, married, with a child, living happily..... how nice huh. I wish to have a family of my own too. Just that I think I'll have to wait for another "5 years". I'll be 30 years old by then. It's actually very late considering how early women get married and have kids these days. But then, it's a good thing. At least we can give each other some time to really really know ourselves better, you know, you just don't wanna regret anything....

So yeah, just random thoughts about random things. Ciao...

I have issue

Dear Diary,

Today, I've just realised that there hasn't been any 'happy' post from me anymore. It's always some meaningless emo blogpost of me ranting how pathetic my life is now. Where has all my excitement gone too? Am I living in a life I've always wanted to? Or am I just enduring what I do not want? The path ahead of me has always been unclear and it seems like it's getting worse now. I'm really scared that one day, I couldn't take it and will just lose faith on myself and let it go. I do not want that to happen because one year ago, I imagined that my life will be a fun, enjoyable and exciting one, filled with new adventures and loves and the so many other things I've always wanted! Where have all of that gone to? There are no more dreams and desire for me to look forward to anymore. I'm just some old nagging girl who nobody wants and some might find me very annoying for asking too much as if they do not know how to take care of themselves or etc.

I'm extremely tired of life. But I do not want to end it here. I know I love my life now and I know it'll be better someday. I've always wished for that someday to come faster.

Trina

My fault...

Went in the elevator justnow and nearly got raped by a fucking negro guy! Stupid Ali or whatever fuck his name is. Bumped into him a few times before and many times he asked for my number but I didn't give. This time, while going up to the 18th floor, he pushed me to the side of the elevator and started touching my waist and his cibai hand slowly going up. And then his fucking face came to me and tried kissing me macaohai. Fucking disgusting!!! Came out at the 18th floor where he's living coz I was afraid he'd do shit in the lift. Then he grabbed my hand and asked me to go to his house to which of course I refused to. Then he asked for my number again and said shit like "I really like you. We can be together and I'll marry you. I am serious...I really like you." Fuckkkk you larrrrr!!
And sigh...it's my fault again. For not being brave enough.

Far farr back

My baby just left back to Malacca =( Really hate it when I'm alone here. We had so much fun whenever he's around and it's even more sucky when I gotta work tomorrow. Sigh.

I do not know how my future will be especially with my lousy CGPA and hopeless career, every single day I'll think of this and yet, it doesn't lead me to anywhere. I'm planning to sit for any paper, any exam, any professional paper, ICAEW or ACCA or CFA or anything! But it's not that easy!! I need to pay for deposit, I need to forego a lot of things, I need to balance between work and study! How can I do that? How could anyone do that?? Besides people with money or sponsorship or smart asses people. I'm neither. I need to pay on my own, and it's not small amount of money. It comes up to thousands of dollars. Where on the earth can I find that money??! Sighh....

I'm such a useless person with no commitment to work and no desire to achieve for the better. I want it but I did nothing to get it. I am nowhere in the world now. Everyone I know has gone so far and I'm so far back...

BORINGSHYT..THIS IS NOT CHILLING!BLOGGING FROM MY PHONE AND I CANT SEE WAT IM TYPING STUPID!

Lo siento

I'm sorry that I did it again,
Seems like I've never changed,
It's my mistake that I should've informed,
And my safety I shouldn't ignore,
I know I've promised you and all,
But I broke it again just like before.

I'm sorry that this had to happen,
Especially right after 3 days of our lovely moment,
Guess I should've learned my lesson,
I'm sorry for the wrong decision I had chosen.

I'm sorry that I made you worry,
Keeping you up even though you were sleepy,
Just to wait for me to reach home safely,
The fact that I did not tell you, I feel really guilty,
All I can is I am really sorry.

I'm nobody

Went for towerthon race today at KL tower with Chee and Vivien. We had to climb 2038 steps, 70+ floors! The few practices we had weren't sufficient actually but hell we managed to finish it in 35 mins! Awesome right! Not sure bout our ranking yet tho coz that will be posted online but I'm so happy that not only I did not give up, I reached the finishing line before my two buddies! Hehe...
Everything was well until when we had to take the elevator down to the ground floor. Waited for more than ONE FUCKING HOUR!! And everyone was pushing like fuck!! Damn stupid organiser! This shit happens every fuking year can't they fuking do something about it?? At least make everyone queue dammit! We started at 10.11pm and I'm done at 10.45pm. Waited for the elevator and managed to reached the ground floor at 11.59pm! Cb! Juuuust in time to call mummy to wish her Happy Mother's Day..!

And yeah, was contemplating whether to drive back or not after that coz it was very late already. Initally, everything was supposed to be done by 10.30pm but those organisers were fucking each other and wasted our time so started late and ended damn late! Andddd yeah I came back Malacca without informing Sim because I knew he wouldn't want me to come back at such hour. I really wanna come back. That's all I thought of. I made him very worried. A lot. Not only he din know I was heading back to Malacca, he was waiting for me to reach Ridzuan by staying up. I am truly sorry dear, I know you won't see this, but I am really sorry for what I've done. I am not a person with wise decision, I am not smart... What was on my mind that moment was I just wanna go back Mlk for Mother's Day. And now, with my stupidity, I managed to make him worried and upset over this.

Sigh what a day. It was supposed to be a good day for me. Now I've ruined everything.

To my love...

What happened one year ago, or even several years back, really means a lot to me. I love to think how things have changed and how it changes my life. Especially to think back how it all started just light up my day, each time =)


Since a year ago, things have changed a lot. Good or bad, nobody knows but what I know is that as of today, I am a happy girl! It’s a period of worthy time spent with him. We went through lotsa shit and as time goes by, we learn to understand each other better, and that’s really essential. He taught me that.


They say nobody is perfect, yes that’s very true…but I’ll say that he’s near perfect, well at least he is for me. So what does this near perfect person has that I’d fall for him? Let me tell you about this lameassh! :P

1. Yeah he’s lame. And I love the fact that he’s super lame! Oh how much have you made me laugh even just by the simplest lame jokes/comments you said. I still remember ‘kah motor’ lol.

2. He’s very caring… yeahh boring point I know, but goddamn he is! He cares for every single little things about not just me, but everyone around him. And he cares for everyone sincerely. Without even a thought of gaining returns. That’s what I was attracted back then, and still do. Still remember how he cared for me when I was at the worse time of my life. Thanks abang =) Also how you gave me things I really wanted and would die for…you know what =)

3. He’s very observant and keipo =P That’s another reason why I love him coz if he’s not, he might have been caught by many other girls out there long ago. He’ll always condemn almost everyone he sees especially if you’re a cinna or a chod lol. Oh hell his specialty is eavesdropping people’s conversation wtf! Yo keipo, I find that cute!

4. I love it when he’ll just come and grab my hand…

5. I love to hear him talk. He talks a looott. Lol… That makes him very special…to me. Also how he’ll always freakingly quote any shit from movies, philosophers, politicians, spongebob, cinnas, anybody! You name it!

6. I love his goldfish lips!

7. How for fuck sake he always sound so convincing -_-

8. I love how he likes to talk like Barney (not the purple monster) with the high pitch “whattt?”.

9. I love how he’ll always educate me with so many scientific terms and stuff and information and videos etc. Then I’ll forget half of it the day after =_= But heyy, at least I’m not that stupid anymore!

10. He’s an OCD. Some might find that very annoying but I find it very cute :P His actions never fail to make me smile.

11. I like the fact that not only he’s quite racist lol, but he’s a person with a very strong stand and of course, a science person. Just love how he’ll always present his thoughts and speech with scientific proofs and facts.

12. And he’s a food lover! You know how much I love to eat! Seafood especially! The countless places that we’ve been to, though it added so much Kgs to me not you, but it’s just superb each time!


The list can go on and on and I might need months to finish it, but I’d like to stop at 12 =) And I think I don’t have to say it out all here…because we have the many more years to come for me to tell it to you. And you, SSH, will always have to remind me and feed me with more gingko that how lucky I am to have you.

While typing this, I’m listening to the one song that will always remind me of the best moments…moments that I will never want to forget. Song by Emily Saliers =) I do not know why, but each time I listen to this, I’ll just think of the silly things we did. Like how we cheated the basketball arcade game just to get the tickets, the very first time you brought me to Daorae, the webcam moments during my training, and the ride home back to Malacca, the day that I thought I had a hearing problem because I couldn’t believe what I heard =P These moments mean a lot to me.

The best moment ever was when I went home knowing that i've got you =)

It has been a splendid year for me, minus the bad times. All the things that lead me to you, I thank every bit of it. I love you.

Thank you for being there for me and thanks for the wonderful year!

First anniversary!!

Yeah yeah! It's our first anniversary today! One year!! Can't believe I can be with him for one year!! When we just started, I thought it'd be very hard for me as I lack of confidence of myself...Till today, din know why he'd choose me instead of so many other girls that he knows that are smart and pretty and rich and kind and anything that you look for! Though he told me so many times before, but I still think there are many other girls that are more suitable to be with him, rather than me. I'm not rich, I'm not intelligent, I'm not from a rich family and I sound like a guy. What he sees in me and for the fact that he likes me, really made me feel so special. Thanks dear =D

Our very first anniversary falls on a Thursday dammit! Sim is in Malacca while I'm in KL here working. But it's alright, we celebrated the unofficial day on April 18th, knowing that we'll both be busy today. As long as I know he still loves me, that's what matter most =)

To my dearest Sim Siew Han, I love you more each day! I thank God for showing me the way to your life, and finally to be with you. Though it's just one year, I've learned alot from you and our relationship. I hope to be with you forever and to have beautiful kids with you. I will love you more, I wish it goes the same on your side. Truly appreciate what you've done for me and I'll repay you by loving and caring for you my love.

Happy anniversary SSH!!

.............

I'm feeling very very terrible now. Cried like fuck last night coz that was like our first real argument...kinda. Couldn't sleep the whole night thinking and worrying how it'd be. Up to now, he hasn't replied or message me yet. I'm really scared. I don't wanna lose him. I just love him so much ='(

Oh God, please don't do this to me. It's really very depressing.

Im sorry

Sigh... I'm so sorry dear.

unlucky

Feeling very terrible now. Been like this whenever I'm back here from Malacca or when Sim leaves for Malacca. I'd cry thinking of my loved ones. My parents, my bf, my hometown... I just do not know how long I can last like this. Just so depressed. How can everyone manage to do it but I can't? The only reason I can think of is they have something to go back to, something to look forward to, somebody they want to see or there's just someone there with them. I come back to KL to nobody. My parents and boyfriend are all back in Malacca. I'm living here all by myself. That's just a reason/excuse I guess. There are people who are like that too but they can do it why not me?

Sighh... I hate this life. I wish it could end very sn where I can just be with people I love most.

Anyway, not a good day today.

Sim involved in a minor accident justnow after sending me to Puff's house. Yeah again...because of me. Am I bringing him bad luck? I think so too. Coz since the day we got together, there were sooo many things that happened that weren't on our side. 2 accidents within 1 year! First was because of my birthday trip and this second one was because he sent me all the way to Puff's house and when he was driving back, that happened. Sigh. I am just a girl who brings bad luck to people around me. I hate this!

And I swear I'm not gonna carpool with them anymore. Just such a terrible decision!! She had 5 ciggies throughout the way!! Heyy from Malacca to KL 5 ciggies wth!! And now I'm having flu! =_=

What a day what a day!

Sigh...

Sighh...

Deng!

Hahh!! Back to Melaka yesterday and went shopping with mum and sis today. And Godd shopping for clothes is so fun! Its weird huh that I couldnt get nice clothes in KL but when I'm back here, sooo many nice clothes and dresses =_= I soo wanna get all of them! Too bad, very limited resources I have here, so gotta limit myself =(

Bought this one jumpsuit-cum-romper(?) from nichii and it's such a wonderful piece of addition to my wardrobe! So elegant and classy! Very different from what I normally would get. Thought of wearing it to Cindy's jie jie wedding dinner ;) First time not wearing a dress to a dinner ehh =P
Lol guess I'm just a happy girl today for being a satisfied shopper :P Heyy I'm a girl after all...

Shoppings fun! Shoppings so fun! Shoppings so damn fun!

Alright I should get some sleep now. Ciao diary.


*****************************************************

Oh before that, wanna record this moment down here lol:

Coversation between An Qi (2 years old currently) and my mum.

Mum was changing diaper for lil Aaron.

An Qi : *surprised* Yohh nanny! Why got this one wan??! *pointing at Aaron's little buddy down there*

Mum : Because he's a boy.

An Qi : *looking down* I also don't have....


HAHAHAHAHA goshh little kids this days!! Aaron is soooooooo cuteeeeeeeeeee!!

When I get married.....

...this two songs are soooo going into "My awesome wedding songs playlist" apart from the blasting hokkien and mandarin songs =_=




Of course the original singer is Fantasia, but I just love Charice's voice.



The nicer version me think...but no clear version of this sad.


And this song!



These songs are just so meaningful and beautiful.

505!

Sometimes I just wonder to myself why the heck I'm doing all these. Feel sick and tired of life. Maybe I'm just a very contented person? I dunno. Thinking how my life would be if I was born to be smarter than I am now..oh wait, maybe a more hardworking innocent optimistic person, rather than the me now, lazyassss... Yeah, how different will it be? No one can tell and the past is just untouchable and what I should do is to look into the future yea? My vision has always been very blur hur hurr... So how the heck and am I gonna do this? Guess I'm just filled with fear all over me? Sim always say this to me and I so gotta agree with him.

Sighhness.

Looking at myself now, I feel so...pitiful for myself yea. Especially after looking at other people my age doing so successfully now and all I'm doing now is working in a small audit firm in Subang. If without Sim, I'd think that "heyyy im doing sooo good now yo im working in Selangor and good colleagues and nice office and i learn alot bla bla bla neverending shit", but being with him, you really gotta aim higher. And of course, that's never wrong! My situation now, even a RM50 note means so much to me..! It can last me a whole week sometimes when I only need to spend on lunch and dinner. I would always get damn excited when I check my purse on Friday every week knowing that I only used up one RM50 note =_= Yeahh I'm thatt sad!

TIme to seek for the right opportunity Trina!

I've Moved!

Hey all...i'm sorry but i'm forced to close down this blog nw coz my fucking EX-boyfriend from hell is still stalking me somehow and i wan completely nothing more to do wif dat abusive, possessive, controlling, selfish asshole who ruined my life for 6 years.

For my readers who know me personally, please send me an email or sms to find out what my new blog address is.

Thats all! Thank you! Bye bye! <3

..live..

Only I know best...I'm evil.

3 years and still counting...

3 years ago, yesterday... She left us, without even letting me/us to see or speak to her for the very last time. But I believe she's with him now...living happily =)

I

Miss

You

Alot

Grandma & Grandpa

...many many years back.

Appreciate your loved ones. Appreciate what you have now. You'll never know when they'll be gone....forever.

Serendipity

Its freaking 2.30am and I still can't sleep sigh...
Maybe I just can't wait for tomorrow!! Coz it's a freaking Saturdayyy! Being able to chill the whoooole day doing nothing is just awesome!! =D

Anyway, just wanna update one thing here.
I am not stopping here!! Great things need time, patience, a lil brain will do, and hardwork! I'm gonna work my ass off to achieve whatever Imma do =) Weeeee...!

Unpredictable?

Yeah life has always been unpredictable. Not knowing what would happen next, the next day, the next hour, bla bla... But sometimes in life too, things can be so predictable... Everything seems so predictable now that there's no more fun anymore. Well, what can I say....that's life. For a moment you're oh-so-awesome, and the next moment, you're just an average Joe. My point is, I just miss those times when I would smile or even crack up when I see em each time.. It was like a 'everyday-is-an-awesome-day-when-I-see-em' thing. Now it's like...yeahh, predictable. The same thing everyday that I daren't even think if it's just me or em. I don't force anyone to follow my way of living a happy life or to please me, as I myself am not sure if I'm on the correct path anymore, but I believe in just one thing....be fuking positive everyday! Hence, I'm always happppieee and feeling excited about every single thing (okay maybe not every single thing, but almost everything) that happens everyday and of course, those that worth the excitement. Trust me, it's a good practice. But then again, seeing em and smile, that's the thing I would want it back...

Am I actually prepared?



*Random post

By random, I really mean it. Each sentence can be completely unrelated to the sentence before that... random.

I saw ghost last night

It's so fuking depressing that every fuking Sunday is a fuking depressed day its so fuking depressed u cant imagine how depressed of a depression a person could be... *Depression mode*

Nobody

Nowhere near them and definitely can't be one of them...
No matter how much I tried, I know I can never be the one.
I'm a nobody... nobody to anyone.
Call me emobitch all you want but at least I know I don't have problem to be happy except for every Monday coz it sucks bad!

Looking down the road... seriously no fuking idea where it'd lead me to. What will I be in a year or two or 10 years later? I don't ask for fancy lifestyle or luxurious houses...all I want is just a simple and nothing but a fuking simple lifestyle with people I love around me. How hard can that be you ask? It's fuking hard especially when you're being me now.

Just want that simple something...

20022021

I'm sorry... the day will have to come one day, someday.
=')

I know I should be posting something up here for a very long time but I have not done so because, well, I think there's no need for that.

Here's a message for you:

It's been a year and I think it gets better for both of us... My life has been great. I'm very happy with my life now, having able to experience many things which I wasn't able to last time....hopefully yours will be the same too. What's past is past, please just move on and explore the future.

New addiction

=)



Glee's version :)