Mum's having really bad backache since a few days ago... and it got worse yesterday sigh... Sometimes I get really worried when I think of all the 'what ifs'. Scary thoughts. Scary as fuck. Mum had a mild stroke many years back and since then, she never gain back her strength like before. Then she had pains on her shoulder and now back pain. For a woman her age (she's 68 years old btw), she is not strong anymore. She and my dad both are not strong anymore. And that scares the shit outta me whenever I think of 'what if they are no longer around?'...
And that is why I would wanna spend as much time as possible with them whenever I can... On weekdays, I get to only spend less than an hour a day IF I go back home for lunch. Everyday after work and for the rest of the days, I don't see them anymore. And the best day would be on every Wednesday where I make the point to have a family day with them... that's about it except occasionally if there's an event. It's so sad that even when we live so near, but going back to my own home sometimes seems like_________ .....not gonna say anything, go figure out yourself...
I only have one body and that's so much I could do. But at least I put in effort to make everyone happy and play my role as I should, but on the other hand, does everyone play the roles as they should? Once, I was told that we each have to put in equal time and effort to achieve the things you, as a team, wanna achieve, otherwise, it is not fair for everyone. Honestly, I think I've put in so much more effort and TIME as I should...and that is for fuking sure. So, if anyone cannot put in the equal amount of time and effort, I will not force you people to... but just, please just don't stop me from doing my part! You can force or indirectly put pressure on me to do anything, I'll gladly do it if it is within my means and if it is part of my role to do it, but then, like I said and I am gonna repeat, if you don't wanna play your part as you should, then please please don't stop me from playing my part. Thank you very much.
Everyone asks me why I always take so long to reply to their messages... honestly, I AM NOT A FUKING ROBOT! Seriously don't expect me to reply your messages whenever you feel like because I have so many shit going on daily and I seriously don't have time to reply or worse, chat! Who still does that lar..... chatting -__- That's teenagers' life. I am way out of that generation now. But I am thankful that my friends are forever so understanding hahahaha! They know my pattern so if it is really urgent, they would PM or call me.. so understanding lol.
Enough for today... the more I type, the angrier I get wtf. Will continue my next rant when I'm feeling unhappy again.......
No comments:
Post a Comment